Past Full of Betrayal
by Ash Scar Kitsune
Summary: Rating for language, so far. Just writing something about why i think Sesshoumaru may hate humans. Kinda weird.


Authors commentary: alright, saying it straight out. i will be killed for this story more then liekly, so get in line. i know three people personally who are going to harm me for this. but that doesnt matter, i still must write the weirdness!  
Sesshomaru: *gives her a cold glare* i did not give you permission for this peice of filth.  
ash: well ummm, i am doing so anyway? ANYWAY! this is a bit of writing that will explain, in MY point of view, why Sesshomaru may hate humans so much, and why he may have rin around. Dont take anything for granted, and please dont crtisize if any facts contradict with the manga. i technically have not gotten tot he part of the manga with rin, or the anime with her. . i do this all on the information i got from him *points at sessho* scary how you can get info from people in your head, then turn it around to fit your stories, ne?  
well, dnt say i did not warn you. i know sessho is gonna kill me before the third chapter. (if i live even to that far. flaming reviews can be deadly. ) i kinda have to put him in a death/life situattion at the mercy of inuyasha.....a few times.....  
sesshomaru: *eye twitches* what....?  
  
desclaimer: dont own them, sessho posseses me sometimes and nearly killed my boyfriend who said he looked like a girl, and maimed my naighbors cat for biting him. that all, and since christmas is gone, doesnt look like i will be getting them anytime soon.   
~~~~  
  
A Past Full of Betrayal  
By: Ash Scar Kitsune  
Sesshomaru woke to the distinct feeling that something or someone was missing. His thoughts were varified by the fact that the small human bundle that was normally by his side was missing. Mentally cursing at himself for sleeping so hard he stood and glanced around for her.   
He ignored his 'retainer' to follow the scent of Rin that he found leading away form the clearing they had rested in. He walked along quickly, wondering why she would have wondered off like that in the middle fo the night. Could she possibly have a death wish.   
"Stupid child." he muttered annoyed as he moved. After three quarters of an hour, he caught a different scent. Youkai scent. A second later he heard a faint scream that was distinctly Rin. Swearing violently to himself he picked up his feet and ran along her trail, praying to whatever god listened to youkai that Rin would someday get some sense into her human mind.   
After a few moments he stumbled into a clearing where rin had apparently annoyed a large nest of insect youkai. Insect youkai that smelled strongly of poisen. As three or four dove from the air to attack Rin, Sesshomaru jumped infront of her, using his body for protecting and slicing two fo them inhalf with his claws. He glanced down at the human child who curled under where he was crouching. She looked terrified, and she was crying. That only made Sesshomaru's eyes darken with anger as he tried to think his way out of this.   
This wasnt going to be easy. Sesshomaru's attentions stayed on the insects even as his eyes trailed to his right arm, then to Rin. He could easily kill the youkai with one arm, but he would have to leave Rin to do so, and she would be poisened into a painful death. Or he could carry her, and Run like a bat out of hell. Neither seemed acceptable in his mind.   
"What were you doing out here?" He growled out softly, Rin cringing when she felt the telletale vibration that ment anger. "I was looking for something." She whispered, not wanting to divulge her secret. "Better have been important." he whispered. He looked again at her shaking, fearful body and expression and sighed, The first option was out.   
He shifted, and wrapped his arm around her, feeling her burrow her face into the curve of his neck wrap her small hands into the front of his garments. Then he took off.   
He was a good ways into the forest before the insect youkai caught up with him. They barraged his back with poisened stingers, and his eyes narrowed when he felt several break the skin. The poisen shot through his system and made him growl. He got bakc to where he had left Jaken, proud that he had finnaly found some use for the toad, and shoved the girl into his surprised, confused, and ultimatly half asleep arms.   
  
Jaken watched then as his master proceeded to kill the insects that had taken over the small clearing. It took only a matter of seconds, but even then, jaken had to use the staff of heads several times to rptect hmself and the trembling girl.   
There was silence for a few moemtns, before Jaken turned to where his master stood facing away from them. Something was odd about how he stood. The back of his cloths was dripping with a thick black liquid, and his arm was slack, hanging heavily while his head was lowered as though he was looking at the ground. Rin sttod up and walked forward a few steps. "Sesshomaru-sama?" she called soflty, biting her lip when it got no acknowledgment.   
"Sesshomaru-sama? Are you all right master?" Jaken said loudly, jumping over to his master and lightly touching his sleave. Sesshomaru's head turned slowly, even as he collapsed onto one knee and stared at Jaken through somwhat glassy eyes. "No Jaken, at this moment, I do not beleive so." His voice was harsh, and nearly silent.   
Jaken's eyes widened while he took in his masters appearence. Sesshomaru's breath was ragged, and he had fallen forward to that he kept himself up with a trembling arm. "Master!" Jaken whispered horrified as Sesho fell over and slowly closed his eyes, a vibrating grolw in his chest the only sign that he hadnt just keeled over dead.   
"Rin, you stay here. Im going to go find someone to help." Jaken cried out, even as he ran as fast as he could into the forest, in the direction he could sense humans. Huamns delt with stuff liek this all the time, they would know something to do.   
Rin walked forward to him again unsurly and knelt beside him. "Sesshomaru-sama?" he asked, and waited for a response. "Sessho?" she called louder when she didnt get one. Her hadn shakily reached out and brushed bakc a few strands off hair in his face. She sat down next to him, tears flowing down her cheeks and fisted both her hands into her lap. "I'm sorry." she whispered, before lasping into silence.   
~~~~  
Inu Yasha sat on the roof of kaede's hut and dozed, half awake, half asleep, as he vaguely listened to the conversation going on between sango, miroku, and kagome in the building beneath him.   
Shippou lay sprawled over kagome's lap, getting a tummy rub while kagome and sango talked. Mostly they were going over the battles of the past few days and miroku was watching them, the ever present appreciation in his gaze staying to them alternatly. Overall, nothing that interesting was going on. they weremaking small talk untill they were tired enough to sleep. Untill a loud comotion had them up and running outside.   
  
Jaken cursed again as he was held upside down by a angry, and somewhat amused Hanyou. Angry because of who this toad belonged to, Amused because fo the things that came out of its ugly mouth while it tried to free itself.   
"God damn it all why did it have to be this village. Why did the stupid half breed have to-" Jaken wa cut short by a rough shake and being squashed to the ground by InuYasha, who was growling violently. Kagome knelt beside him and poked Jaken like he was a stuffed animal. "Why is he here? Sesshomaru isnt around here." she asked, one hand staying absently to the jewl around her neck and she stood and looked orund at the distance to double check.   
"Dont know, hadnt thought to ask. It wont matter once he's dead." InuYasha growled again, adding pressure to where the toad youkai was pressing into the groud like a pancake. Kagome sighed and knelt down to stare the toad in the face.   
"Okay imp, why are you here, and the truth please. " She said, eyeing InuYasha as he absently flexed his claws and nearly stabed the toad, a innocent look on his face when she turned to him.   
"I am here because I was looking for human assistence and didnt relize that you all were in this village. But since you are, and apparently want to be left alone ill be going and-" He was cut off be another amout of pressure. "Assistence for what?" Inuyasha glared at Jaken.  
"None fo your bussiness!" he aswered quickly, strunggling again to be freed. Inuyasha smirked and picked the toad up to about eyes level and rose and eyebrow. "im curiuos to know what that asshole of a brother would need human help for, and you going to tell me. " he said clearly, a somewhat cocky smile on his face.   
"No im not. Let me go!" Jaken yelled and strugled again in ernest. Kagome stood up and gently took the toad from inuyasha while he gave her a calculating look. "then why dont you show us?" She said a bit too cheerfully. "after all, you said you needed human help, and i am about as helpful and human as they come." she smirked.   
Inuyasha gave her a look that plainly said he didnt approve. "Are you fucking insane, You want to involve yourself with Sesshomaru? He would kill you in a heartbeat!" Sango nodded in agreement, while miroku just smiled slightly. "actually im rather curiuos myself." he voiced and receivd a murderous glare from inuyasha.   
Jaken, meanwhile had a nervous look on his face, and by his actions told them that he was in a rush to do whatever. "Would you um, be willing to help?" he asked, closing his eyes and practically killing himself mentally at even considering help from the hanyou and his companions. "yes... I suppose...." Kagome said at length, knowing it wasnt the most intellegent thing to do. But something in her told that she needed to help Jaken with this.   
It was a revolting feeling.  
Jaken's eyes opened so fast it made him dizzy. "What. what- y-youll help? " he stammered out, and his surrpsied look was reflected on sango's and inuyasha's faces. Kagome noded and put the toad down. He bowed once to her before hopping away, calling to her to follow him. She did so readily, as soon as she grabbed her bow and arrows, and her friend trailed behind her.   
  
Inuyasha folded his arms over his chest and had a downright violent look to his face that had no one talking to him, and everyopne else seemed on edge. Shippou was on kagome's shoulder and he kept turning worried looks to the hanyou before patting Kagome's cheek reasuringly. He didnt know why, but he felt she needed it.   
After an hour of walking they came into a clearing where crying could be heard, and even Inuyasha's expression softened slightly at the pitifully heartbroken sound. The could see a few meters before thm that Rin was knelt on the ground, crying like her world had shattered, next to something.   
Something in White.   
Something that was.....Sesshomaru?   
Kagome walked foward slowly and on gaurd, but when she reached them, the sight was most unexpected. And from the sound behind her, where her frinds had followed her, unexpected for them as well.   
Sesshomaru lay on his side, still somehow with his usual grace. His breathing was shallow and ragged, and occasionally his eyes would move as though he was in pain. For all the world he looked like he was about to die. The scariest part was the black lines that had, like lightning or spiders web, stretched up the sides of his face and throat. The skin visiable on his arm was meshed with the lines as well.   
"Oh. My god." Kagome whispered, Kneeling besides Rin and putting her arms aroun the girl. Rin looked up at her with watery eyes. "Its rin's fault." she whispered. "Rin walked away and he had to save rin from the bugs."   
Kagome looked up at inuyasha to see him with a wicked smile on his face and his hand on the hilt of the tetsusaiga. "Inuyasha..." she said, warning in her voice as she pointedly looked at rin.   
"Well, i mean, he seems to be in pain, wouldnt it be putting him out of his misery?" he commented in a voice that showed he cared nothng for his brothers misery, he wanted him dead. Understanding dawned on Rins face and she threw herself at Inuyasha chest, carrying enough surprise to knock him onto his back. He stared at the girl in surprise when she gave him the feircest scowl she couold and smacked him on the nose.   
"You will not hurt Sesshomaru-sama!" She said with a growl of her own. Inuyasha had a stunned look on his face while miroku and sango both hid smiled behind there hands and Kagome looked concerned for Rin. Jaken paced back and forth, mumbling incoherantly to himself.  
"Rin, come here and leave him alone. He wont hurt Sesshomaru. Ill help you make him better, come here rin. " Kagome said and the little girl got up and walked to her, snuggling into her lap and holding onher her shirt. "You make him wake up, and those lines go away?" She asked tentively.   
"Ill try." Kagome responded in kind. "You WHAT?" inuyasha exploded. "Im going to help him. " she said, her eyes twitching at hisr horrified expression. "You cant! Kagome, have you forgotten, that fucking bastard has tried to kill you! Multiple times!" he shouted.   
"Yes, but he cant do that now, and I wont have a little girl upset over him liek this if i can do somehting to help.Who knows, perhaps he will be thankful for it afterwards." kagome growled out and stood up, glaring her challenge at inuyasha while she held Rin to her.   
"Well how are you going to help him. you cant do anything out here! and I am not carring him back!!" Inuyasha yelled before giving her a smug look. "Can YOu carry him, you weak human girl." he snapped.   
"SIT!" he crashed to the ground before kagome turned around to Sango who met her with raised eyebrows. As dangerous as it seemed to help Sesshomaru, things had been a little boring lately and they were interested with this predicament. "Sango, would kirara..."   
Sango nodded and kirar jumped off her shoulder to transform and the two girls and Miroku hefted sesshomaru onto her back. Jaken jumped up beside his master, and rin clumg to kagome so tightly taht she couldnt have put her down if she wanted to.   
They stareted back to the village and inuyasha growled. "I cant fucking beleive you bitch. That sonofabitch is gonna kill you!" He pryed hismelf out of the ground.   
"Inuyasha, why dont you just sit there for a while and think." she mummbled, and walked away with him yelling at her. But seeing Rin had made her mind up for her. Sesshoumaru would be getting help from this Kagome, whether he likes it or not.  
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Sesshoumaru was in a state of half wake and death, and he absently heard voices around him and felt that he was moving. Normally he would have demanded to know what was happeneing to him without is consent, but with the white hot agony racing thrugh his veins, he decided that he didnt really care.  
Occasionally, the invisiably blanket drapped over his senses would lift and he would be faintly aware of his surroundings. He thought he had heard Rin crying, Then he thought he heard the hanyou's voice yelling something about him. Yes, he was truly unwell to be hearing such things.  
More movement, more noise. He had ben on something soft, and now the unyeilding stiffness under his back nearly made the Youkai Lord whimper in sudden pain. As it was, he just winced and bit his tounge. Kami-sama. For once, he wished he would just die and get over with it, this was almost unbearable, even for him.   
He felt himself border on complete oblivion again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Lady Kaede stared at the Youkai lord on her floor with a thoughtful look, occasionally sending curiuos glances to Kagome, whom had asked for her help with him. "May I ask Lady Kagome, why do you wish help with him? Is he not the same youkai who has tried to kill us all?"   
Kagoma was rubbing Rins back, trying to sooth the small child, and looked up. "Yes, but I just feel.......I feel we should help him. I do not know why..." She trailed off.  
Soon after they had gotten back, they had awakened Kaede for assistence. While they were getting Sesshoumary into the hut and laying him down, they had heard Inuyasha heavily, angrily, jump onto the roof and settle there, away from them and his brother. Miroku and Sango were sitting against the wall, wondering what to do with the Youkai now, and Jaken had not left his masters side, probably a most annoying habit for the said master.  
Shippou had fallen asleep, and Rin seemed ready to follow, having wore herself out with worry. Kagome settled the child into her sleeping bag before going over to Kaede.   
"I know it is a strange request Kaede, but please, i dont know what to do myself. Please?" she asked softly, glancing at Sesshoumaru. Kaede stared at him for a moment and nodded slowly.  
"Come child, he wust find somewhere for him to lay and then treat the poisen. Get some blankets and make a bed for him in through there.." She said, pointing through a doorway to a small room off from the main one. It was made for pattients who needed privacy, and Sesshoumaru would need all the privacy he could get, especially if he awoke.  
Kagome rushed to go do this, while kaede started up making some medicines for the poisens, hoping she knew how to stop the destruction the venom had already begun to cause.  
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"God damn suicidal wench. Its SESSHOUMARU! And she wants to help him. 'Maybe he will be thankful afterwards' yeah RIGHT! He might be thankful enough to smile before he rips her to shreds. Wouldnt that be nice!" Inuyahsa ranted quietly to himself, listening to the actions below him.   
"My lord Inuyasha, the girl is just trying to be kind, especially to the child." Myoga said from between some beads on his rosery. "Well her kindness is going to get her killed!" Inuyasha ranted, growling horribly in between sentences and words.   
" Ah yes, You have reason to be angry, my lord. But please, calm yourself before you upset her again. What you can do best now is to watch Your brother and make sure he doesnt harm anyone. You and I both know Kagome will not back down from what she says she will do." Myoga tried to reason with his disgruntled Master.  
"Oh yes, flea. Im not letting that bastard out of might sight and hearing range. He pulls anything, he FLINCHES wrong and he is DEAD!" Inuyasha muttered vengefully, his ears trining down to the hut beneath him every few seconds. The old flea sighed at his master but nodded. Helping the Youkai Lord did not seem to predict any easy times in the immediate future. This was going to go bad, he felt it.  
  
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Kagome, Sango, and Miroku had moved Sesshoumaru to the bed they had made in the other room, and kaede had done al she could with her herbs and spells. Now they would wait until morning. Kaede had said that their actions hsould help before she went to bed, but she had sounded sceptical.   
Now the three were just watching a fire slowly go out, thinking. Sango facial expression clearly stated she was nervous, especially when he kept the Hiraikotsu next to her and sent looks toward the silver haired man in the other room. Miroku just looked tired. He hadnt even pulled anything Lecherous all night and that said something, he looked about to collaspe any moment.   
Kagome herslef was tired, she had had the most difficulty moving him out of the three, and she was mentally cursing herself for weakness while staring transfixed at Sesshoumaru. She couldnt help remembering the times she had almost died because of him. Being near him kept and almost tangible fear in her that threatened to escape at anymoment. She kept feeling he would suddenly rise and attack her, riping her to shreds with his poisenous claws. And she kept wondering about other things. Why had he decided to save Rin at such a cost, he supposedly hated humans. Of course, she had never understood why he had Rin with him in hte first place. She also wondered what kind of poisen could affect him so badly, she honestly didnt know if he would make it.  
She stood and walked to the room, Staring down at the creature who occasionaly haunted her nightmares. He was laying on his stomach, His arm laying on the bare floor beside him. Everything but his pants had been removed and placed in a pile at the foot of his bed, and he looked strangly young without it. His hair was pulled aay from his back, which was ripped practically to shreds, and his tail lay loosly on his legs, having been undone fromthe belt that held it in place. With his face relaxed except for the occasional wince, he almost looked innocent, and it frightened Kagome more then when he stood towering over her, intimidating.  
She sat next to him, bound by her own fear to overcome it, and that could only been done by accepting him near her. He made an odd, coughing sound when she came close to him, and she asumed it was her scent, and frowned. Could she possibly smell that horrible to him? She couldnt know for sure. Unable to resist the urge, she glance back to the main room to see that everyone was asleep, and she reached out and pet his tail. He jumped lsightly at the contact, but when she studied his face he didnt seem to be upset. It was much softer then she would have imaged, clean and silky without any tangles. She relized he must take a lot of care of it. She rested her arms on the bedding and her head on her forearms, tired all of a sudden.   
She fell asleep still absently petting his tail.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
He surfaced again from the numb blackness and could tell he had been moved again. He wasnt laying the same anymore and he felt much more comfortable then he was last he knew. But where was he? Ah well, he didnt expect to remember. He was having difficulty thinking at all, let alone decipher things through hearing and smell alone.   
He was deffinatly cold though. Cold air blew over his back and stung horribly, but also helped to releive some pain, so it must not have been that bad. He also wasnt wearing shoes, and he wondered what his apearence was. Oh who cares.  
Sesshoumaru mentally swore at himself for being so out of his usual mind setting, but couldnt motivate himself to go back just yet, he just wanted to rest, and stop feeling this horrid poisen surge itself through him. It felt as though it was trying to rip him apart in a million peices, and succeeding.  
He was suddenly aware of someone near him, someone he knew but couldnt identify properly. They stayed away for a moment, and he almost drifted off again when they came very close and he could feel movemnt as they disturbed whatever he was laying on. He mentally groaned. Go away whoever you are, I wish for sleep, not some damn company. An oddly pleasent scent hit him and he coughed, surprised out of his mental anguish. Who the hell.......?  
Then he nearly jumped out of his skin. Someone or something was brushing agaisnt his tail. No, petting, not brushing. An act he had long ago dubbed as forbidden and worthy of a painful death.They were doing it purposefully and rythmnically. A imperceptable shiver ran through him, almost drugging out the pain and he mentally went silent. When the sensation continued, he felt himself drift off much quicker this time, and he decided that it was okay this time. He wouldnt be angry, if they would just keep stroking his tail so that he could sleep. 


End file.
